lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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