So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
