I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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