It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You made out with two different species that night
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
