I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
