i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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