question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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