oh god the rape fog is back!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
