i need an iv and a liver transplant
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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