Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
