I'm going to jail i love you
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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