I want to have your abortion
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
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