we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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