Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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