It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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