i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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