So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
