No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
