Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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