How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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