I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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