i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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