Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
