man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
