Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you traded sex for a burrito?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You have to summon your inner elephant
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
