Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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