Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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