he puts the penis in happiness.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
