Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
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