the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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