its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
