we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
How does it feel to date your dad?
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