so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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