I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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