Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
