Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I wish life had little blips of pornography
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
