Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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