he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
