i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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