just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
