My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
