East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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