I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
