i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
