How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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