Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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