There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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