so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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