i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Someone shattered a urinal.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
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