She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
