we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
