That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
