i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
