just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize