woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
