every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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