Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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