Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
