Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
