Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm jealous of your bromance
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
