watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
These tits shall not be calmed
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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