that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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