hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
