Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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