Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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