Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
i now understand why vodka
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
