I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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