When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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